As we all know, 2009 was a truly terrible year for film. Despite a series of huge releases, our expectations were raised and then brutally dashed as our favourite franchises jumped the shark in spectacular fashion, over and over again.

With the Razzie nominations announced last week and a year of promising films still to come, it felt like an opportune moment to take stock of how bad things can truly get.

Reducing last year’s litany of stinkers to a ‘bottom ten’ wasn’t easy – there were many films that made strong cases for a place. However, with the benefit of hindisight, here is a look at ten of 2009’s worst offenders.

Be warned, here follow spoilers…

1. Transformers 2: Revenge of the Fallen

Big robots, Megan Fox, plenty of slow motion scrappin’  – how bad could it be, right? Wrong. Michael Bay transformed one of Summer 2007’s most enjoyable blockbusters into a bloated nightmare of misfiring gags (the Decepticon ball scene, anyone?), confused action and nonsensical plot.

Worst of all, he killed everyone’s favourite Autobot Optimus Prime half way through, and sadled us with the racist twins instead.

2. X-men Origins: Wolverine

Devoting an entire prequel film to the history of one of Marvel Comics’ most mysterious characters was never going to end well, especially when most of the story had been covered in the excellent X2.

The ‘revenge movie’ stylings of X-men origins were left blunted by a cast of villains that Wolverine couldn’t possibly kill for fear of turning the franchise into a time-paradox more knotted than a Lost writer’s script notes.

We tuned in to see Wolvie vs Helicopter, and ended up with Wolvie whining over his missing love, and a boxing match with an obese man.

3. Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakquel

The animation was at least efficient, but the helium voiced horrors of Alvin, Simon and Theodore were sure to ruin any slim enjoyment you may have had.

Both dismally unfunny and apallingly trite, this by-the-numbers kiddy sequel doubled the number of chipmunks and musical numbers – two things nobody wanted (from a film than nobody wanted).

Also, they invented the word ’squeakquel’.

4. The Pink Panther 2

Quite why Steve Martin felt the need to re-make one of Peter Sellers’ most beloved films is beyond anyone’s imagination, especially when the result is this average.

Without the title, it would have simply been a disappointing slap-stick comedy from Steve Martin, who deserves better than this.

However, to add the Pink Panther moniker creates an inevitable comparison with Sellers’ classic, a comparison which Steve Martin’s vehicle loses, every single time.

5. Dance Flick

Parody films are very difficult to get right, as the Wayans brothers should know by now. Dance Flick is the latest entry in their growing catalogue of terrible spoof movies, providing an almost perfectly tasteless digest of some already terrible dance movies.

With a sense of humour that rarely rises above groin level, flatulent ballerinas, gay ballet dancers and a woman who gives birth mid dance are some of the highlights of Dance Flick’s comedy offerings. Slim pickings indeed.

6. Dragonball: Evolution

Something appears to have been lost in the translation from small screen to multiplex, and that thing was common sense.

What works in the loopy world of the Japanese anime simply falls flat on the big-screen, resulting in a messy, surreal and extremely camp cavalcade of big hair, green skinned villains and flying cars.

While the fight choreography was undoubtedly impressive, it wasn’t enough to stop this from being a cheesy, disappointingly generic mess.

7. 17 again

Taking the The Freaky Fridy and 13 going on 30 concept, and turning it on its head, 17 again saw Matthew Perry transformed into his seventeen year old self – Zac Efron.

The film delivered on its uninspiring premise, by plotting a remarkably predictable path through high-schol high jinx and quasi-incestuous family romances which Back to the Future managed with much greater aplomb 20 years ago.

Tack on a ridiculously saccharine ending and a disturbing scenes where Zac Efron almost kisses his middle aged ‘wife’ and is propositioned by his ‘daughter’ and you have a recipe for disaster.

8. Imagine That

Yet another sickeningly sweet story of love and redemption, Eddie Murphy’s Imagine That plumbs the ‘disassociated divorcee dad’ routine of Liar Liar (and steals the entire plotline from a Simpsons episode where an infant Lisa gives Homer racing tips), but adds nothing new to the formula except Murphy’s rubber-faced antics.

The film smashes us over the head with the message that ‘love conquers all’, reaching a bizarre musical climax which sees Murphy joining in with his daughter in a rendition of All You Need is Love. Pass the bucket.

9. Gamer

Quite possibly the most stupid premise of the year – Gamer saw teenagers controlling death row inmates in an unwilling fight to the death, who will then be freed if they survive thirty matches.

The film revelled in stunning, hyper-violent action scenes, but then criticised audiences (clearly gamers themselves) for indulging in, and enjoying, the same virtual violence.

Add on a surreal quest to save the world from a mind controlling lunatic, and you have a film that makes absolutely no sense at all.

10. Donkey Punch

Named after a bizarre and highly dangerous sexual act, Donkey Punch takes that same act as a basis for a particularly brutal and stupid slasher movie.

Dumb in the very worst sense of the word, Donkey Punch is exactly what it says on the tin – an orgy of nonsensical violence and sex, which seems to operate without any guiding principles or plot.

Philip Reynolds