Director: Louis Leterrier 

Screenplay: Travis Beacham, Phil Hay, Matt Manfredi 

Cast: Sam Worthington, Alexa Davalos, Gemma Arterton, Pete Postlethwaite, Ralph Fiennes, Liam Neeson 

“Release the Kraken!â€? has to be one of the most fun movie lines of all time and Liam Neeson wrings every note of drama and preposterousness out of it in this 3D remake of the fantasy classic, Clash of the Titans. Neeson plays Zeus, who’s angered by the defiance show him by his own creation – the human race. Faced with a rebellion down stairs and the possible loss of prayer and devotion, the fuel of the gods, Zeus orders dark brother Hades – played here by Ralph Fiennes with all the panto villain zeal he’s learned from his stint as Voldemort – to unleash the terrifying beast on his subjects and show them who’s boss._ 

The kraken doesn’t disappoint either. A giant fanged and tentacled leviathan, nearly translucent from thousands of years under the waves, even as it rises out of the water and drags itself up the cliffs to tear the Greek city of Argos apart, still more of it is submerged underwater, giving the impression that it goes on forever. 

Mankind’s champion to defeat the beast is a half-man, half-god hero named Perseus, played by Avatar’s Sam Worthington. Perseus has a long and perilous journey, from foundling fisherman’s son to mighty warrior before he can slay the Kraken, but the audience does as well, although their trials are stilted dialogue and terrible acting rather than giant scorpions and demonic harpies. 

The first half hour of director Louis Leterrier’s film, where Perseus witnesses the death of his adoptive family in the crossfire of the war between man and the gods, comes to Argos and joins the Greek army, is almost unbearable in places. Despite the fact that Clash of the Titans is pure popcorn entertainment, the fact that it has its roots in Greek mythology means that Leterrier resorts to dour, laden ‘fantasy movie’ dialogue, the gravity of which is undermined by the fact that once the plot is disposed with it’s barely necessary to know anyone’s name. 

Things pick up when the action starts, and the rest of the movie is a whirl of impressive CGI-beasties and sword and sandals sorcery, and let’s not forget Perseus’ winged stallion Pegasus. It’s doubtful that it will ever have quite the same kitschy re-watch value as the 1981 original, but it’s a fun, brainless movie for those willing to forgive the script. 

By Tom Brown

Clash of the Titans is out now  courtesy of Warner Brothers